Sitting here thinking about a promise God made me last year. He told me, that I wouldn't have to fight anymore. In the voice of Sophia from The Color Purple , "All my life I had to fight." Lol My fights weren't physical though. They were all emotional. Fighting to fit in. Fighting to be accepted. Fighting biased assumptions. Fighting jealousy. Fighting systems that were designed to make me feel inferior, insecure, and incompetent. Figthing to prove that I was normal even though I knew in my heart I wasn't. Fighting my greatness. I suffered huge bouts of depression because I would purposely suffocate any aspect of my peculiarity, I did this to keep from being rejected. I experienced medium levels of abandonment too. Just imagine shelling out a high dosage of patience for a flawed individual but when it's time for this person to do the same for you, they leave you. They leave you naked, cold, and confused. So I expressed very little emotions. I remain
"I aim to be a written letter of God. I live my life to bleed, just to be one of the red ones."