A Season of Solitary Confinement

 

So how are y’all hanging? Any new revelations been dropped since the last post? Are you still about that life though? You are? Good! I’m still about that life too but I have become aware of a certain situation I’m in now or maybe I should say SEASON. For the last few months or so, I have been feeling weirdly isolated. At first I would have an occasional bout of loneliness. But now the bouts have accelerated and things are becoming more NOTICABLE.

Since my best friend, my most personal contact and only confidant, got married and moved to L.A last December I have been forced to experience being alone for longer periods of time. Don’t get me wrong, I have pretty much lived the life of a loner since as far back as I can remember. Nevertheless, I have always had at least one person in my corner to reach out to. But now my best friend is miles away nurturing her marriage. Moreover, God gave me an ultimatum, HIM OR ME. Only because I could NOT engage intimately with God until I broke up with my boyfriend which I decided to do in January.

And CHILE it’s been one! January through March I would say wasn’t that bad. But after that, things started to shift. I realized I was in a SEASON OF SOLITARY CONFINEMENT, a season where your thoughts are YOUR ONLY COMPANY. Say what? YES HONEY! The artist Seal said it this way, “We will never ever survive, unless we get a little CRAZY!” And I say if you want to see how CRAZY you are, be left alone with your thoughts for more than a few hours. LORD HA’MERCY!

Now, we’re not going to get into how crazy and deranged I am lol but we will discus your surrounding environment and discover if you’re actually in a SEASON OF SOLITARY CONFINEMENT like I am. Will you be locked away in a tiny cell with no windows? NO! But you will feel like it. Will you be forced to go to bed at a certain time? Somebody say, “LIGHTS OUT!” Lol no but certain days you’re going to attempt to SLEEP away this feeling and other days you won’t be able to pay a treasure troll to knock you CLEAN OUT!  

You’re going to be surrounded by people but feel like you’re by yourself. You’re going to feel like that kid nobody wants on their team. People are going to give you the hint that your services are no longer rendered and in certain cases you will be notified just that. You will feel like you're a ghost or invisible, that people are listening to you with one ear, could care less about your presence, don’t understand or appreciate you. In my Kevin Hart voice, “Are you done?” LOL NOPE! People will lie on you, discredit your hard wark and integrity, you won’t be invited to parties or events, and when you speak it will be like somebody pressed mute. (Where the heck did the remote control come from, Jesus?)

Wooo all that Tanzy? I don’t know about all that. But wait don’t be turned off about this life though. The benefits outweigh these weird seasons you will face. Trust me, you think I would continue to ride on this rollercoaster if I didn’t think that something good would come of this. Chile BOOM! I would have been quit along time ago my friend. Let me name a couple of people in the bible who faced a SEASON OF SOLITARY CONFINEMENT or isolation. Brother Moses, after he killed that Egyptian he lived in the wilderness herding LAMBS! Paul stayed  confined in someone's prison. I saw it calculated somewhere that during his years in ministry he spent about 6 of those years in prison.

 LAST but NOT LEAST, JESUS! On two separate occasions Jesus was isolated. RIGHT HERE IN THE DESERT! where he was taunted by the ballheaded devil and in the GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE  where he was with the disciples but still felt depressed to death! So what's your point Tanzy? My point is this, count this SEASON OF CONFINEMENT as a blessing and an indicator that SOMETHING GRAND is about to POP OFF! God is going to pull back the veil and say "VOILA! Look at my child of whom I am well pleased."

This season will refine you and make you appreciate God's presence even more because trust me you won't have anybody to turn to BUT GOD! You will cry and God will be the one to wipe those tears away. You will moan and groan but God will be there, record those groans and moans and interpret them for you. AND he will make this season BEARABLE! So just like Paul wrote letters to different churches from prison, I write to you while currently confined to say that, "Weeping may endure for a night but JOY comes in the morning!" I know why a caged bird sings because he knows that this SEASON OF SOLITARY CONFINEMENT won't be for too long.