Yo, have you ever been so frustrated with your life that you just wanted to say, "F&ck it, I quit!" Has your walk with God made you question Him like, "Why me, God?"
This past Friday, I went there. First of all, Friday came with its boxing gloves and ready for some mad bull jive! You feel me? And yes I did pray that morning. I prayed for clarity, revelation, and instruction.
So I get halfway through a mentally exhausting work day, and I get kicked in the gut! Reeling in pain, before I could catch my breath I get punched in the chest. Let's just say I was done for the rest of day.
After work I took myself on a date. Life just seemed to be easier for those few hours. But those few hours left me as fast as they'd come and as I walked to my castle, reality sank in. The pain from earlier came back. I had to come to grips with the fact that I'd been jumped on in the spirit.
I sat in bed with my back against the wall and for the first time this year I cried. I was mad at myself because I told myself I would not do that this year. I told myself I would not be weak. Then I directed my attention to God and asked, "Why me, God?"
I went so far as to question the value of my life. I questioned His decisions to keep waking me up everyday. I wondered how important could my purpose be that He refused to just take me out.
A terrible discussion that actually brought things into deep perspective for me. Who the heck am I? Who the heck are YOU? What are we potentially doing to get in the way of our purpose and God's will? What are we doing to make our lives harder than they have to be? What are we screwing up so bad to make us even, ask, "Why me God?'
Have we gotten comfortable in our dysfunction that God has to light a fire up our a$$es to get our attention! Have you been feeling like the walls are closing in on you? Do you feel really uncomfortable, unfufilled, and extremely unsatisfied with almost everything?
What are you doing about it? Nothing? Welp! There you have it chile! If you haven't already, be prepared to feel some FIRE! Be prepared to get jumped on! You see, God can't physically MAKE us do anything. He will however turn up the levels of sensitivity in our spirits, so that whatever ISN'T working in favor of the overall health of our spirits, will perpetually irritate the HELL out of us. LITERALLY!
Philippians 2:13
"for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."
There's something in you that God is trying to pull out. And then there's something that He's trying to put in you. There's something that He told you to do that you haven't acted on. What is it? I'm going to need you to sit down and figure it out. Don't feel bad though. In the bible Jacob got jumped on too.
Genesis 32:25-32
So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
The man asked him, “What is your name?”
“Jacob,” he answered.
Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[a] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”
Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.
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