God Is That You?

Isaiah 30:21 

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.

We're living in a day and age where there's so many things grasping for our attention and our ears, it would be a good idea to learn how to turn everything down to hear God's voice for ourselves. It's actually God's desire that we are able to hear Him and hear Him all the time. The universe in itself is a prime example of how much God has to say, considering when He created everything, He did so with His spoken words. 

The very first time I heard God's voice, was when I was 13 years old. I'd been taking a nap when I heard, "Get up!" No one was home, so I knew it wasn't my parents or my siblings speaking. Somehow in my adolescence my spirit immediately came into agreement with it telling me to get up not from my natural nap but my spiritual slumber! But because I was not in a spiritually cultivating environment and I was teddy bear hugging my strong system of unbelief (Read Confessions of an Ex-Atheist), I would not hear or even heed His voice for an extended amount of time. 

When I first became saved at the age of  22,  I relied on my pastor to relay any messages from God to me through his sermons and bible study teachings. I never opened my bible. I didn't feel the need to even after becoming a children's Sunday school teacher. 

About 4 or 5 years later, I had tons of questions about my faith especially since I was suffering from severe depression. I couldn't understand how could I be a faithful servant of God in His church but yet faithfully depressed as well as struggling in other areas of my life. 

I took it upon myself to read and study the bible. I also took it upon myself to develop a prayer life. I fought off my depression praying twice a day. I recorded myself reading Numbers 6:24-26 and that's when I heard His voice again. He told me to, "Watch."

Little did I know that disciplining myself to pray regularly and reading God's word, I was stripping the dullness from my ears and pulling the scales from off my eyes which ultimately culminated the gift of discernment. I was seeing and hearing everything behind the scenes. I was seeing shadows in the pews and ungodly dealings underneath the surface that were repulsive and unsettling. But something happened...

I got distracted by my own inner longings to be a wife. I wanted badly to be in love and to marry. This had actually always been a desire since I was a pre-teen yet the desire somewhat mutated when my short lived, lust filled relationship with my ex dissolved after three months and my closest friend got engaged and moved to another state. I was lonely and desperate. My prayers changed to me passionately asking God to introduce me to my husband. 

One day at work, a gentleman walked into my job where I was a bank teller. I'd actually been introduced to him earlier that year by someone else via Facebook when I inquired about being more active outside the church. I thought to myself, "What are the odds?" We had a small conversation which included him saying that he was telling himself that he wanted to meet me. I was flattered. He told me he would reach out to me to set a time for us to discuss some matters that involved community outreaching of which I was really excited about. Before he left out of the building, I heard, "That's him." 

The first thing I thought, referring back to my prayers was, "Is this my husband?" Instead of waiting for an answer or follow-up from God, I told my coworkers and my friends what I'd heard. I never once consulted with God. Hindsight, God had confirmed on a few occasions that what I'd heard was NOT HIM! But I was so enchanted, bewitched, and desperate, that I overrode every last one of those confirmations. This led me down a murky, dark road of deception and rebellion. I twisted scriptures and mixed them with other scriptures that were taught to me in error. I disobeyed God's original directions to go one way of which He'd given me once before a few years prior and instead I went the opposite way in the direction where this man was when my season at my church at that time ended, all because I thought I heard something telling me to do so. Yeah, I heard right, alright, but it was oh so wrong. 

Needless to say, I took every padlock off my spiritual reservations EXCEPT for the one locked to my purity. I still managed to keep that from out of reach, barely. Still, I suffered from so much emotional, mental, and spiritual pain as a result of this, it's not even funny. This situation took a lot out of me that once I finally walked away, I was disastrously depleted and smothering in my shame. 

Now I'm here, set free, delivered. whole, joyful, and optimistic about my future and even my future in love. I'll be honest though, it took me a hard year and some change to get here. And every now and then I will find small fragments of my war in random places from time to time. I have some huge scars and indentations in my heart that I don't think will ever go away. However, I refuse to allow them to impede what God has for me on any level or any area of my life. 

Once again, I've put myself in the spotlight to get you to understand how detrimental and calamitous it is to one; not have the ability to hear from God for yourself and two; not know the difference between God's voice, your voice, and the devil's voice. Something in you must automatically ask, "God is that you?" 

So how does one know when it's God and when it's not? First of all, it's virtually impossible to hear God potently on a more pronounced level without reading His word. Absolutely impossible! The bible lays a thick coating over your mind and heart. It reconstructs your thinking and tests your heart's condition. Most importantly, it opens you up to receive the prologues and epilogues of the season and aggressively comes against the contradictions of life. I'm astonished when I hear a supposed believer say that they don't need the bible to get close to God. Oh ye of much deception! 

The bible is the crux of our faith in God. We need it like our natural bodies need food and water. No wonder we have so many wandering vagabonds in the kingdom, because they're being led by their own fancies that actually cosigns with satan's devices. Just use my story and picture a million mini Tanzy's, pre-deliverance running around the kingdom. That's what's happening! #Tragic. Be honest with yourself. Are you my pre-deliverance version of me right now?

Hebrews 3:7-8

Today, if you hear his voice,

do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion,

    on the day of testing in the wilderness, 

Once you become familiar with the linguistics of God, you then must discipline yourself to participate in regular communication with Him through prayer. What's the point of knowing how He talks and not ever once initiating a conversation with Him that requires active listening? Your prayers don't have to be fancy. It can be something as simple as, "God I don't understand this! Help me understand this!" Best believe He will answer. This will involve placing a demand on your ears, heart, and mind to receive His responses because He won't always respond in actual words. 

 I tell you this as well, if you don't insert some kind of self-denial (fasting) to your spiritual journey, your desires will be like wild horses galloping freely in a loosely guarded stable or a whole bunch of rambunctious toddlers in a daycare facility with no parental supervision. Just like me, your desires can be solicited by other voices including your own. Your desires need 24/7 surveillance! 

I personally don't trust myself at all which is why I will without hesitation punish my flesh before it even smells like it wants to be reckless. I think you should move the same way.

Moral of the story; it is spiritually illegal to go another day being comfortable with the fact that you have not heard God's voice! It is spiritually illegal to continue allowing your flimsy flesh to take you on frivolous journeys to appease desires that should have been submitted to God. It is spiritually illegal to continue to believe you don't have to read the bible in order to have an effective communicative relationship with God. How long are we going to engage in these illegalities? How long will we allow ourselves to be openly estranged from God?

G.I.N.O 

God Is Number One