Unequally Yoked

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

It was December 31, 2013, when I called my lover at the time who was out of town with friends and told him I was ending our relationship. We'd only been exclusive for three cute months prior to me making this decision. No, he'd never lay hands on me. He was never disrespectful and he wasn't a cheater. He wasn't emotionally abusive, sneaky, or conniving. He wasn't lazy or irresponsible. He was actually a very gentle, super sweet, and kind man. 

What was the problem you ask?

We...were...unequally...yoked!

I knew this early on when I begin to relax mostly all of my convictions and boundaries for him. Get this, he never pressured me to do any of that. It was the undelivered parts of me; my rejection issues, and my desperation for companionship that mugged me leaving me open to do everything I'd promised God I wouldn't do. My own unbridled desires betrayed me. 

Initially. he threatened to leave me after I stipulated that he was not allowed to come inside my home. This stipulation was in place because I didn't want to risk breaking my abstinence. He told me that he didn't think we would work out. And he was right. I just didn't want to hear this. So I reneged. And I would find myself feeding my flesh which would ultimately declare war on my spirit self. Because mind you, I was still serving as a choir member and Sunday school teacher. I was still faithfully going to Biblestudy, Sunday service and choir rehearsal.  I tell you the affects of this battle was so uncomfortable it was almost unbearable! I wholeheartedly believe the reason this affected me so much is, the activities I participated in which edified my spirit-man was bringing my flesh self into accountability for what it was doing to satisfy itself. This constant wrestle would wreak havoc in my emotions. One minute I wanted to please my lover and the next minute I didn't want to be near him. One minute I would want him to touch me and the next minute I would be repulsed by his presence. 

Never mind the fact that he was some odd years older than me, spiritually we were NOT COMPATIBLE! Which leads me to the meat and potatoes of this post.

For those of you who may be reading this that are not familiar with the term, yoke, it means harness or attachment. In the bible the people would put a yoke around the necks of their cattle placing them in pairs which kept them from wandering during the journey. Now that's not the only term that needs to be defined. It's the term in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that a lot of professed Christians have overlooked and that's the term, unbeliever.  Listen, just because a person goes to church, claps along to the praise team or choir, shout a few amen's and hallelujah's from time to time doesn't necessarily mean they're a believer. You can profess with your mouth all you want, it's your heart's posture that will reflect itself in how you live. A lot of people's lives are only ultrasounds of their hearts. You need to pay attention and take off the rose colored glasses. 

Do y'all want to hear something so hilarious yet unfortunate? I tried to clean up the mess I'd made when I committed to this relationship even though I knew it wasn't ordained, by making small attempts to incorporate my love for God's word into my conversations with this man. He would smoothly back out of all of these conversations. There were times I wanted to pray with him and worship with him. He was not interested in being reminded that our relationship was a fraud! That's all any of those activities would have really did. Understand in any unequally yoked relationship, you will indeed compromise your faith and relationship with God to appease the nature of this illegal partnership. Furthermore, if you have to evangelize to a person that you are romantically interested in, this is a sign that it's a disaster waiting to happen. The person doesn't have to be  a bad person for the relationship to be  unequally yoked. You and this person together could just be an unfruitful and unprofitable combination due to their personal distance and proximity to God.   

One of the most lucrative schemes the enemy likes to throw off divine assignments designated to take down one of his operations in the kingdom, is by enticing the one chosen to perform the take down with a relationship that pulls them out of the will of God. It's all a means to distract you from receiving your marching orders.  

Another way you will know that a relationship you're entertaining is unauthorized is if you find yourself changing in relation to the person and not in relation to God. When your Godly convictions are muted you will either revert back to the person you were prior to giving your life to God or you'll wind up being a replica of your love interest. My first intimate encounter with this man was basically my old self resurrecting back onto the scene after having been crucified and buried. #Tragic 

The only way anyone who claims to love God and considers themselves souled out can keep from falling all the way into the deep end is if they renounce this type of relationship and get out of it immediately. The longer you stay in that thing the more likely you will stay estranged from God. No one can serve two masters! (Matthew 6:24))

Moreover, I've seen many stay in relationships that were clearly snares from hell making all kinds of excuses aside from their relationship to justify their absenteeism in the kingdom. Some have even gone so far as rejecting the word of God altogether. I thank God that I snapped out of it after three months! I literally feel like if I hadn't cut it off at that mark, I probably would have lost my ever loving living mind. Plus, my little cheap efforts to pull this man into the light proved a waste of time. Just imagine trying to talk to somebody about Jesus when you were making lust sandwiches with them just the night before. (Insert face palm here______)

#Sidebar, being unequally yoked does not only apply to romantic relationships. You can be unequally yoked in a platonic relationship. You can be unequally yoked to a ministry. Any entity you choose to connect to exclusively that requires your attention, if it isn't submitted to Christ it will destroy you. If I be a witness! 2 Corinthians 6:14 is not some killjoy command. It's an instruction set in place to protect you. It's God's desire to stay in close contact with you. It is also His desire for you to have life and that more abundantly. Don't you think it would make sense for Him to warn you from interacting with anything that will cause you to miss out on the benefits of your covenant with Him? 

If you're reading this right now burning with conviction or actually sinking in shame for making accommodations that benefits the lifespan of a relationship you know isn't God approved, it's okay. Know that there's is no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus, to them who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit. You my friends first need to make the decision that you want out of it definitely so that God can show you your exit. He may have been showing you this exit for a long time since He's madly in love with you. So let's start this engagement by inviting Holy Spirit to come in and allow God to handle the rest.