Proverbs 20:6
Many a man proclaims his own loyalty and goodness,
But who can find a faithful and trustworthy man?
Well happy September to you all! I've seen many proclaim this month as the birthing month or the month of new birth. How ironic for me, because this is the month I was actually born! I'll be celebrating my birthday at the end of this month and I'm sort of excited about what this new year of life has to bring and the expansive moves of God that will come along with it.
In other news, over the course of my walk with God, I've learned some things about platonic relationships. One of the things I've learned is that God places value on them just as He does in romantic relationships. In John 15:15, Jesus told the disciples that He no longer called them servants but friends. And just before that verse He said, "Greater love has no man than this, that a man would lay his life down for his friends."
This was an endearing sentiment but also a prophecy. Jesus was prophesying the sacrifice He would ultimately make on the cross and He expressed it in a way of laying His life down for His friends.
With that being said, I don't take friendly encounters and opportunities to connect with others lightly. However, I also know that a level of sacrifice must be made on either side to reap the kind of fruits and blessings God has tucked away in these kind of relationships. That is, if they are ordained by Him.
My friendships while unsaved mainly satisfied my dysfunctional behavior. My friends all of them from high school, were not bad friends. We were just loyal to each others personal choices and lifestyle decisions even if they were somewhat toxic. We clubbed hard, we drank a lot, and we threw raunchy kickbacks. I was heavily committed to living outside of God probably even more than them because I didn't believe in Him.
But as I transitioned into my relationship with God, my desires to participate in the things I used to partake in with those friends were no longer there. I realized I couldn't remain as loyal to them as I used to be and so I allowed the inevitable process of my growth to direct me away from them. There was no blow up or bad argument to result in our separation. They're still actually very close to each other, our distance still remains, and I have no harsh or negative feelings toward them.
Developing and maintaining relationships while in God have been a little more complicated of which I've discovered. Surprising to say the least, but I've come to understand that the closer we get to God the greater the chances we have in becoming mirrors to others around us as well as seeing our reflection in others. If we are immature or either suffering from rejection issues we will be more than likely okay with acting as mirrors but not as likely to accept the kind of reflections our relationships will show us.
I also believe that this is where a lot of struggle and friction comes from. Then add to the equation the sticky world of social media that to me tends to instigate this confrontation. People's insecurities are exposed and internal grievances are picked at. A wrestling match ensues with comparison as the referee and jealousy in the corner egging everything on.
Loyalty becomes an enigma.
Isn't that something? To be honest, I've always been the loner type since I was a little girl. Not that I had a problem with making friends, I just found more solace in being alone. As I reflect back, I can see how my friendships were of codependency. Even though I was content with being by myself and I rarely struggled with loneliness, the enemy would come in randomly to tickle my desire to be understood. So most of my connections would thrive off of remaining connected to people to be validated and accepted.
A lot of people move this way because they believe it's reliable. In their minds it's, "If I feel like you understand me then that means I can trust you. And if I can trust you, you deserve my loyalty."
Here's the problem, a person can understand you and secretly despise you. A person can understand you and be easily convinced by others that you're a bad person. A person can understand you because you have history and may not understand the new version of you. Have you ever heard someone try to explain remaining connected to someone they should release because, "He/she understands me!"
They will neglect any hint of disingenuous praise and acceptance at the expense of being understood. Not grasping that someone simply understanding you shouldn't be the only reason you should remain loyal to them.
Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
In the Bible, David and Jonathan's friendship was a beautiful one. 1 Samuel 18 described their relationship as being knit together by their souls. It went on to say that Jonathan gave David, his robe (his trust), his armor (his protection), his sword and bow (his defenses), and his belt (his truth). Jonathan gave David everything that made him strong to secure their covenant.
The Bible said that Jonathan did this after David had finished speaking to Jonathan's father Saul, about defeating Goliath. Jonathan didn't want to connect to David because of his recent accomplishment. He wanted to connect to David because of his heart. Jonathan was the son of a king. He didn't need David's newfound notoriety. Their loyalty wasn't truly recognized though, until David's very life was threatened by Jonathan's father. Jonathan helped David escape death. Jonathan never questioned David's authority or used David's previous victory of slaying the giant to hang over his head now that his life was in danger.
And David never exploited Jonathan's vulnerability or made him choose sides.
STOP RIGHT HERE!
This isn't a blast post or a post to encourage you to disengage from the people in your circle. This is a post to assist you in redefining what you constitute as loyalty and to provoke you to
determine why you are connected to who you are connected to, right now.
I firmly believe that when God has prepped your heart for some kind of transition, He then begins to challenge you to take inventory on those around you.
Are you being sharpened by those around you?
Or are you being conditioned for mediocrity?
Are you sharpening those around you?
Or grooming them for mediocrity?
Are those around you able to recognize that God is doing something new in you?
Or are those around you afraid of your progression?
Are you able to recognize that God is doing something new in them?
Or are you intimidated by their progression?
Are you faithful to them? Are they faithful to you?
Can you trust them? Can they trust you?
Why are you all even friends?
Is there any good fruit coming from these relationships?
Ponder...
I must warn you, that you're about to feel like you can't trust anybody in a short while. Transitional shifts raises the heat and acts as biopsies toward covenants.
I also must warn you that this is definitely not the time for you to make hasty emotional decisions as it pertains to your associations. You still need covenant fellowship! That's one of the ways God blesses you. This is a very critical time as well as a very volatile time. You don't want to make the mistake of cutting vital arteries!
I had a dream last week, where I witnessed a heated argument between an older gentleman and a young woman. I remember the man reminded me of Cyrus from the show Scandal. I was off in the corner of the office where these individuals were, while I watched the two of them go back and forward. The woman got really upset and slammed some papers on this huge desk and said through clenched teeth, "It's over for you! I've already did it!" Suddenly, a fax machine lit up and papers came out. The man walked over to the fax machine and snatched the papers off of the machine. His eyes bulged and he grabbed his chest.
Then I heard, "That's his daughter. He's lost his authority, thanks to her." I woke up and heard, "A betrayal is approaching." That same day I was headed to the train station and got a nice view of the sky. One part of the sky was gray and cloudy and the other half of the sky was clear and cloudless. Lightning struck a few times. It was actually beautiful to see.
And I heard again, "A betrayal is approaching." Now this can cover a large territory, but since we're on the discussion of friends...
The neo-soul artist, India Ari sang it this way, "One shot to your heart without breaking your skin. No one has the power to hurt you like your friend." Listen, a betrayal is not accomplished unless it comes from someone close/familiar.
I thought about Jesus and His betrayer Judas. I wondered how on earth did He remain loyal to someone He knew would eventually betray Him? I saw a meme one day that stated, Jesus must have treated Judas well because none of the other disciples ever had a clue he'd be the one to betray Him. Then it dawned on me that Jesus remained loyal to Judas because Judas was His passport for His ascension. #Shooketh
Jesus remained loyal out of love and obedience not out of compromise or a need to be understood.
The saying that people only come into your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime has been overused. I don't think people want to acknowledge or simply know that you will meet more seasonal people and people for a reason than anything. Lifetime people are very very rare because I don't think you get to choose them nor do they get to choose you.
Life and time does the recruiting.
I've made the mistake a few times of giving people the LIFETIME title who never should have been given anything. When I said yes to God 9 years ago, I didn't know that sometimes the paths that God would lead me down would be sparse of people. A true consecrated walk of holiness in itself is indeed a lonely walk. Whenever I would run into people who seemed like-minded enough for me I would automatically give them access to me.
This gesture would prove costly every single time.
Now, I'm a little more prudent and my discernment isn't clouded by an emotional appetite to be accepted. I don't get offended when my efforts to connect with a soul is rejected (which has been happening a lot this year.) I don't get bent out of shape when God tells me my words with some friends are over.
At the end of the day, when you subtract your need to be understood and accepted, you will be able to tell who will leave you if ever some salacious gossip geared towards disparaging your character would surface. You'll be able to know who would at the drop of a hat kiss you on your cheek to expose you to your enemies. You'll be able to know who would leave you hanging immediately to join ranks with those who don't care for you. You'll be able to know the ones that are itching for your next embarrassment or failure.
Who can't wait to see you hurt, stranded, or naked.
How? I told you earlier that the closer you get to God, the more likely you will become a mirror in your relationships and vice versa.
People's true reflections (intentions) will always be revealed. It's inevitable.
So what must you do?
Brace yourself. This is a hard pill to swallow; you must love them no different and fight the urge to change up. Jesus never changed up. He was vocal about His imminent betrayal but He never changed up. He stayed loyal in His love walk. So, you should too. Continue in your love walk and let it mature you. You never know where your love walk will take you and whether it will bring things to the forefront or cause a severing. Just know, that you are not alone.
Many a man proclaims his own loyalty and goodness,
But who can find a faithful and trustworthy man?
Well happy September to you all! I've seen many proclaim this month as the birthing month or the month of new birth. How ironic for me, because this is the month I was actually born! I'll be celebrating my birthday at the end of this month and I'm sort of excited about what this new year of life has to bring and the expansive moves of God that will come along with it.
In other news, over the course of my walk with God, I've learned some things about platonic relationships. One of the things I've learned is that God places value on them just as He does in romantic relationships. In John 15:15, Jesus told the disciples that He no longer called them servants but friends. And just before that verse He said, "Greater love has no man than this, that a man would lay his life down for his friends."
This was an endearing sentiment but also a prophecy. Jesus was prophesying the sacrifice He would ultimately make on the cross and He expressed it in a way of laying His life down for His friends.
With that being said, I don't take friendly encounters and opportunities to connect with others lightly. However, I also know that a level of sacrifice must be made on either side to reap the kind of fruits and blessings God has tucked away in these kind of relationships. That is, if they are ordained by Him.
My friendships while unsaved mainly satisfied my dysfunctional behavior. My friends all of them from high school, were not bad friends. We were just loyal to each others personal choices and lifestyle decisions even if they were somewhat toxic. We clubbed hard, we drank a lot, and we threw raunchy kickbacks. I was heavily committed to living outside of God probably even more than them because I didn't believe in Him.
But as I transitioned into my relationship with God, my desires to participate in the things I used to partake in with those friends were no longer there. I realized I couldn't remain as loyal to them as I used to be and so I allowed the inevitable process of my growth to direct me away from them. There was no blow up or bad argument to result in our separation. They're still actually very close to each other, our distance still remains, and I have no harsh or negative feelings toward them.
Developing and maintaining relationships while in God have been a little more complicated of which I've discovered. Surprising to say the least, but I've come to understand that the closer we get to God the greater the chances we have in becoming mirrors to others around us as well as seeing our reflection in others. If we are immature or either suffering from rejection issues we will be more than likely okay with acting as mirrors but not as likely to accept the kind of reflections our relationships will show us.
I also believe that this is where a lot of struggle and friction comes from. Then add to the equation the sticky world of social media that to me tends to instigate this confrontation. People's insecurities are exposed and internal grievances are picked at. A wrestling match ensues with comparison as the referee and jealousy in the corner egging everything on.
Loyalty becomes an enigma.
Isn't that something? To be honest, I've always been the loner type since I was a little girl. Not that I had a problem with making friends, I just found more solace in being alone. As I reflect back, I can see how my friendships were of codependency. Even though I was content with being by myself and I rarely struggled with loneliness, the enemy would come in randomly to tickle my desire to be understood. So most of my connections would thrive off of remaining connected to people to be validated and accepted.
A lot of people move this way because they believe it's reliable. In their minds it's, "If I feel like you understand me then that means I can trust you. And if I can trust you, you deserve my loyalty."
Here's the problem, a person can understand you and secretly despise you. A person can understand you and be easily convinced by others that you're a bad person. A person can understand you because you have history and may not understand the new version of you. Have you ever heard someone try to explain remaining connected to someone they should release because, "He/she understands me!"
They will neglect any hint of disingenuous praise and acceptance at the expense of being understood. Not grasping that someone simply understanding you shouldn't be the only reason you should remain loyal to them.
Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
In the Bible, David and Jonathan's friendship was a beautiful one. 1 Samuel 18 described their relationship as being knit together by their souls. It went on to say that Jonathan gave David, his robe (his trust), his armor (his protection), his sword and bow (his defenses), and his belt (his truth). Jonathan gave David everything that made him strong to secure their covenant.
The Bible said that Jonathan did this after David had finished speaking to Jonathan's father Saul, about defeating Goliath. Jonathan didn't want to connect to David because of his recent accomplishment. He wanted to connect to David because of his heart. Jonathan was the son of a king. He didn't need David's newfound notoriety. Their loyalty wasn't truly recognized though, until David's very life was threatened by Jonathan's father. Jonathan helped David escape death. Jonathan never questioned David's authority or used David's previous victory of slaying the giant to hang over his head now that his life was in danger.
And David never exploited Jonathan's vulnerability or made him choose sides.
STOP RIGHT HERE!
This isn't a blast post or a post to encourage you to disengage from the people in your circle. This is a post to assist you in redefining what you constitute as loyalty and to provoke you to
determine why you are connected to who you are connected to, right now.
I firmly believe that when God has prepped your heart for some kind of transition, He then begins to challenge you to take inventory on those around you.
Are you being sharpened by those around you?
Or are you being conditioned for mediocrity?
Are you sharpening those around you?
Or grooming them for mediocrity?
Are those around you able to recognize that God is doing something new in you?
Or are those around you afraid of your progression?
Are you able to recognize that God is doing something new in them?
Or are you intimidated by their progression?
Are you faithful to them? Are they faithful to you?
Can you trust them? Can they trust you?
Why are you all even friends?
Is there any good fruit coming from these relationships?
Ponder...
I must warn you, that you're about to feel like you can't trust anybody in a short while. Transitional shifts raises the heat and acts as biopsies toward covenants.
I also must warn you that this is definitely not the time for you to make hasty emotional decisions as it pertains to your associations. You still need covenant fellowship! That's one of the ways God blesses you. This is a very critical time as well as a very volatile time. You don't want to make the mistake of cutting vital arteries!
I had a dream last week, where I witnessed a heated argument between an older gentleman and a young woman. I remember the man reminded me of Cyrus from the show Scandal. I was off in the corner of the office where these individuals were, while I watched the two of them go back and forward. The woman got really upset and slammed some papers on this huge desk and said through clenched teeth, "It's over for you! I've already did it!" Suddenly, a fax machine lit up and papers came out. The man walked over to the fax machine and snatched the papers off of the machine. His eyes bulged and he grabbed his chest.
Then I heard, "That's his daughter. He's lost his authority, thanks to her." I woke up and heard, "A betrayal is approaching." That same day I was headed to the train station and got a nice view of the sky. One part of the sky was gray and cloudy and the other half of the sky was clear and cloudless. Lightning struck a few times. It was actually beautiful to see.
And I heard again, "A betrayal is approaching." Now this can cover a large territory, but since we're on the discussion of friends...
The neo-soul artist, India Ari sang it this way, "One shot to your heart without breaking your skin. No one has the power to hurt you like your friend." Listen, a betrayal is not accomplished unless it comes from someone close/familiar.
I thought about Jesus and His betrayer Judas. I wondered how on earth did He remain loyal to someone He knew would eventually betray Him? I saw a meme one day that stated, Jesus must have treated Judas well because none of the other disciples ever had a clue he'd be the one to betray Him. Then it dawned on me that Jesus remained loyal to Judas because Judas was His passport for His ascension. #Shooketh
Jesus remained loyal out of love and obedience not out of compromise or a need to be understood.
The saying that people only come into your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime has been overused. I don't think people want to acknowledge or simply know that you will meet more seasonal people and people for a reason than anything. Lifetime people are very very rare because I don't think you get to choose them nor do they get to choose you.
Life and time does the recruiting.
I've made the mistake a few times of giving people the LIFETIME title who never should have been given anything. When I said yes to God 9 years ago, I didn't know that sometimes the paths that God would lead me down would be sparse of people. A true consecrated walk of holiness in itself is indeed a lonely walk. Whenever I would run into people who seemed like-minded enough for me I would automatically give them access to me.
This gesture would prove costly every single time.
Now, I'm a little more prudent and my discernment isn't clouded by an emotional appetite to be accepted. I don't get offended when my efforts to connect with a soul is rejected (which has been happening a lot this year.) I don't get bent out of shape when God tells me my words with some friends are over.
At the end of the day, when you subtract your need to be understood and accepted, you will be able to tell who will leave you if ever some salacious gossip geared towards disparaging your character would surface. You'll be able to know who would at the drop of a hat kiss you on your cheek to expose you to your enemies. You'll be able to know who would leave you hanging immediately to join ranks with those who don't care for you. You'll be able to know the ones that are itching for your next embarrassment or failure.
Who can't wait to see you hurt, stranded, or naked.
How? I told you earlier that the closer you get to God, the more likely you will become a mirror in your relationships and vice versa.
People's true reflections (intentions) will always be revealed. It's inevitable.
So what must you do?
Brace yourself. This is a hard pill to swallow; you must love them no different and fight the urge to change up. Jesus never changed up. He was vocal about His imminent betrayal but He never changed up. He stayed loyal in His love walk. So, you should too. Continue in your love walk and let it mature you. You never know where your love walk will take you and whether it will bring things to the forefront or cause a severing. Just know, that you are not alone.
If you have no place to call home to worship, fellowship, and be fed spiritually, join me!
7359 S. Chappel Ave
Chicago, IL. 60649
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