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Better Than...

1 Samuel 15:22
But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

Good day everyone! 
I pray that you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving, and the food, and your families, and another day to give God thanks. 
I know I did! 

It was a beautiful day indeed. Probably one of the best Thanksgivings I've ever experienced. 
Maybe because I'm truly in a different space, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. 
All these things I believe can play a key role in how you perceive your blessings. 
I don't have a lot, right now. But I have a lot, right now. 
Does that make any sense? 

Well, hopping right into it. I think it was two weeks ago one Sunday night, I was sitting in my bath I'd prepared with bath bombs, soap, and lavender Espon salt. 
Here, is where I begin to ruminate and wander through some of the causes and effects of my life. Replaying some of the key events that set the stage for where I am now. 

I traveled through my mind for a minute. Flipping through the various channels like an actual television. 
But once I got so far, I had no where else to go. 
It was like I was standing at a cliff before a great expanse. 

The place of my unknown. 

"This makes no sense! Why am I even here? I don't even know what I'm doing," 
I spoke to myself. 

Then a familiar pressure came from out of nowhere. A pressure I've been feeling for quite awhile. 
I covered my face and sobbed. I pushed all of these tears out simultaneously trying to decode what they meant. 
They were coming from an alien origin.

Because I didn't feel sad. Didn't really feel too bothered about anything in particular either. On up until this point, that is. 
So I let myself slide down into the tub until I was mostly submerged in the bath water. 
Then the tears stopped. 
Yet the pressure remained. 
I went to bed after asking God to basically help me sort through these emotions and this pressure. 

The next day, I woke up refreshed and eager. Left out of my home for work a little earlier to make good time traveling a fairly new way since my move. I would take a bus that would send me straight downtown where I could easily connect to one of Chicago's main train routes, known as the infamous Redline. 

Once I got off the bus, I joined the hustle and bustle and walked two blocks west. I was admiring the skyscrapers like a new tourist of the city. Disregarding the slightly chilly 35° the day wore as winter's badge. 
Waltzed to the train station while listening to Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve, a classic forever fave of mine. Then through the turnstiles and down some more stairs that led me to the terminal. 

I glanced at the monitor to check for the train times. I read that my train would be approaching in 4 minutes. I took a peek at my phone and saw that I was making good time. Then I heard the rumbling of the train tracks and saw the lights of a train coming down the tunnel. I thought, 
"The train is early!"
Got on the train and noticed it was oddly empty during rush hour. 
Needless to say, I was happy as a toddler to snag a window seat as if I would be seeing any views of the sky for another 15 minutes until the ride was over and I was out from under the tunnel.

Bobbing my head to my music, I froze when shortly after I saw the sun and a sign reading, Cermak/Chinatown. 

Guess what?

I was on the wrong train, headed in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION of where I was supposed to be going!

#Splendid 

I immediately jumped off that train and walked over to the other side of the terminal. Read the monitor for the train times; my train would be arriving in 6 minutes. 
I kicked myself in the butt and chewed myself out. 

"Tanzy, how on earth did you get on the wrong train? What's the matter with you?" 

My train eventually came and it was unsurprisingly packed as sardines. 
Disgruntled and quasi irritated. I squeezed on, only to find a cart full of startled passengers. 
Apparently, a little bird was on the train. A brown finch to be exact. Flying back and forward trying to find its way out. 

Passengers were swatting at the poor frightened bird to direct it to the sliding doors before they'd close. But it didn't make it. The bird continued to frantically fly back and forward. Momentarily resting on the silver bar used for standing passengers to hold onto.  

It did this a few times and then to everyone's relief the bird flew out of the side door of the cart that a passenger was holding open for it as we rode further into the tunnel. 
Everyone laughed including myself. Yet I secretly hoped the bird found its way out of the dark tunnel.

Once the train stopped at my destination, I got off and walked two zigzagged blocks to my workplace. Then into the office cheerfully greeting my colleagues, 
"Good morning! Guess what happened to me today guys?"
They weren't the least bit amazed I'd another story to share from my eventful life. 
We tend to joke about this, often. 



 Psalm 37:23-24 
The steps of a good man are led by the Lord. And He is happy in his way. When he falls, he will not be thrown down, because the Lord holds his hand.

I thought about these two incidents all day. Me getting on the wrong train and a bird caught on another train. I even reached out to my best friend in LA and told her what happened. I told her that for some reason I felt as if they were non-coincidental. 
I laid in bed around 2am the next morning looking for the connection. 
 I asked God to show me the revelation seemingly hiding in plain sight beckoning me to seek it out.   

And then I heard Him...

God said, "You're guilty of finding comfort in being in close partnership with time but overlooking the fact that you are going in the wrong direction. Like the brown finch, you're trying to explore your new found freedom in a packed crowded vehicle that was never designed to hold you or to take you to your destination. A vehicle of hysteria, fear, and self doubt. These are two great tragedies. To find limitless mobility yet to be trapped in a space where it can't be fully expressed. To be right on time but headed in the wrong direction. You will make an enemy of this peace I give you if you continue on this way. The pressure that you keep feeling is Me reminding you that you've been here before." 

When I heard this, I curled up into a ball and cried my eyes out. I had to repent for my confident ignorance. 

In 1 Samuel 15, Prophet Samuel was given instructions from God to relay to King Saul to go to a particular town, annihilate everything, men, women, children, cattle etc. (The Amalekites/The enemies of the Israelites) and come back home. 
What did Saul do? He destroyed almost everything including what was of poor quality and spared everything else including the king of that land. 

God gave Prophet Samuel the 411 and let him know that Saul had disobeyed Him. The prophet went and confronted Saul informing the king of his transgressions. King Saul basically clutched his pearls and responded, (Paraphrasing) "Whatever do you mean? I did what I was told. I even kept the good of the land to sacrifice as offerings to God." 
Prophet Samuel was unmoved and unimpressed and that's where we receive the frequently condensed version of 
1 Samuel 15:22, 
"Obedience is better than sacrifice." 

Whenever we deviate from some form of instruction by God to do something, no amount of dressing or garnishments will cover up disobedience. The whole idea behind obedience being better than sacrifice is this; if God wants you to be obedient, then you must adhere. If He wants you to make a sacrifice, then you must adhere. If in your obedience you will be required to make a sacrifice, then that will be up to the discretion of God, not you! 

Obedience is better than sacrifice, whenever the sacrificial act is done out of our willingness to disregard an order that calls for us to be obedient. 
We set ourselves up when we try to make sacrifices during hours that God is calling us to be obedient. 

Then as a result of the former, our sacrifices are counted as null and void because God never asked for it. The sacrifice would not be acceptable since it would not be coming from a place of pureness but that of a replacement to a direct order of obedience. 
It will actually be charged as disobedience at the end of the day.

Psalm 32:8 
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you."

You remember when God told Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac in Genesis 22? 
Those were instructions which had a sacrifice attached to them. 
In this case with Saul, he was not given the same kind of instructions. He was told to destroy a town where his people's enemies resided. 
That's it! That's all! 

Those instructions had some underlying logistics connected to them. Might I add, that Saul would never come to know. Thanks to his disobedience. He inevitably would come to know the negative ramifications of his actions which involved him being dethroned as king. #Tragic 

I have to share with you the reasoning behind God instructing Saul to destroy a whole town of people. I can't take full credit for this part only because one of my good friends brought it to my attention a few years ago. 

She told me something close to this, that the reason God wanted Saul to take down the men of the Amalekites was to ensure that their enemies' strength was gone. The reason God wanted Saul to take down the women of the Amalekites was to ensure that their enemies would not have the ability to reproduce themselves. The reason God wanted Saul to take down the children of the Amalekites was to ensure that their enemies would not grow up to harass their descendants. Lastly, the reason God wanted Saul to destroy their cattle was so that the Israelites would not become confused with where their help and provision really came from. 

You see there is a logic behind every single iota of an instruction God gives us. Our chiefest mistake is making things more complicated than they ought to be. Because we were created in some way to be logistically inept, meaning there is a divine logic behind us not having all of the answers nor instructions, it would behoove us to obey whatever is asked of us by God. 

It's time for us to stop adding sweeteners and extra added preservatives to things God is requiring to be FAT FREE! 
He's God! He doesn't need our futile assistance.  
Where does this actually leave us? 

OBEY! 

Go back to the last set of instructions God gave you and walk them bad boys out! If you don't remember what He told you to do, go to Him and ask Him to repeat what He's asking of you. Just don't go trying to make lame sacrifices out of willful ignorance! 

In my situation, I'm low-key in the hot seat for sure. God's hand and eye is on me so strong and He's not laying up. It seems I've tried everything I've possibly could to get around His instructions and I just end up in bathtubs crying like a baby and on the wrong train during my work commute. Ha! 

Oh yeah, about that! Do y'all know I got to work with a minute to spare? But I tried to log into my computer and couldn't get in. Called the IT help desk and was told my password was old and needed to be RESET! 
Although I was on time, I still had to reset something in order to access something else. 
Sometimes obedience will include a reset in your thinking and your method in which you're trying to access the very thing God is calling you to do. 

Are y'all paying attention? 

What else is there left for me to say? 
Just obey! If you get a call from Him. Just O-BEY! 




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