Psalm 42:3
My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
I love the man. The masculine version of God. The one God summoned the dusts of the earth to come together to create him in the beginning and invested His breath into, before He created woman.
The one He gave complete dominion and authority to and trusted to manage this great luscious expanse called Eden.
The one installed with God's divine confidence to survey all of the living creatures unlike him roaming the earth, to give names to.
The one God gave his first commandment to.
I've always admired the makeup of men. I believe this admiration was first birthed after my family and I were abruptly displaced and forced to move to one of the most notorious neighborhoods in Chicago; Englewood, during my last year in elementary school.
I was so unable to relate to and make friends with the girls in that area we lived, so I would immediately go inside after school and stay in my room.
My auntie told my mom that something was wrong with me and that she should probably send me off to an insane asylum.
For fear of being committed, I made myself go outside.
And I would make myself comfortable on top of this tall white wall made of stucco, that allowed me to sit high and look low. Ha!
I guess it was inevitable that this little hood Rapunzel would attract the boys. They all would try to get me to come off the wall. I would reject all of their advances. So, they wound up joining me on the wall. They became my friends to the chagrin of my auntie. From the outside in, I appeared fast. But for me, hanging with them was survival. I felt safe around them.
Plus, I would no longer have to worry about being sent to live in a "crazy folks" home.
Anyway, being around these guys, I was able to observe their behaviors. I watched how they interacted with each other and listened to their conversations. Though some of their dialogues were vulgar and vapid, I still relished the atmosphere.
Their engagements with each other fascinated me.
My family and I would eventually move a few blocks away and I would gain another group of male acquaintances. I would study them as well. Yet by this time, I didn't have to force myself to hang outside as much because I wasn't under the surveillance of my auntie anymore. The threat of being committed wasn't hanging over my head either.
So I dwelled with the fellas every so often.
Needless to say, I made friends with a lot men on up into my adult years. Over the course of all of the years of observing and studying them, I've found an issue amongst them that's like a cancer.
Their scarcity of vulnerability.
Or better yet, their limited access to express emotions.
Especially emotions other than anger and aggression.
Which makes me wonder, who wrote the narrative that a man isn't supposed to feel?
Where did it come from?
We are living in a day and age where if a man doesn't cry or doesn't show emotions, he's considered strong and if he does, he's considered weak.
Why is a man's strength determined by his lack of sensitivity?
My heart broke one day, I don't know how this subject came to being but my six year old nephew told me, "I don't cry. I never cry. Boys don't cry."
I responded, "Boys do cry. If you need to cry, cry. Nothing is wrong with that."
Emotions are emotions. They are not germs that warrants you to disinfect from. They do however, require proper management. I believe that the most dysfunctional man on the planet is one that has bottled up his emotions to protect the image of the man that society has painted.
This is tragic to me.
Romans 7:24
What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?
Did you know the bible was written by a bunch of flawed, vulnerable men who were just as weak as they were strong? Matter of fact, because of their weaknesses they were waxed strong and molded into valiant warriors. King David contributed to a large portion of the book of Psalms. These songs would reveal his strength and his weaknesses.
Low-key, you would believe he was emotionally unstable.
Yet, he was unashamed in his vulnerability.
Prophet Jeremiah, wrote the entire book of Lamentations. The definition of lamentations is passionate weeping.
He was especially known as the Weeping Prophet.
And at the cross, while he hung and bled, Jesus let out a huge cry before he gave his last breath.
I believe there's a lot that God can do with a man who is willing to be vulnerable and willing to be in tune with his emotions in a healthy way. I believe this because, broken vessels are powerful vessels.
Pride can actually be one of the reasons that holds a man's sensitive side hostage.
But more so, fear.
Peer pressure is a heck of an influence.
With the major populous convinced that men should be arrogant, braggadocious, flashy, manished, no wonder there is no room left for a man's vulnerability nor the true condition of his heart!
And there is a difference between a man who expresses sensitivity verses a man who is feminine.
A man who cries and expresses how he feels shouldn't put him at risk of his entire sexuality being questioned.
A man should be safe and free to express his emotions without this undue pressure.
My heart bleeds for my kings in various places who have to endure walking around with crowns of thorns on their heads in place of the crown Jesus died to be a part of their wardrobe.
If you are are one and you're reading this, I encourage and express urgency to find your release. It's ok to be vulnerable. Your sensitivity is natural. It's ok to express your pain with tears.
Life is hard for man.
It's too hard for you to not every once in a while shed tears.
Your sensitivity is needed, believe it or not.
This is actually one of the prime reasons why I wrote my first novel,
Tears of Kings.
One of the main characters hid his pain behind his masculinity and this cultivated a toxic lifestyle of whoredom and alcohol abuse.
Worse, his unattended pain mutated into anger and depression.
A man who is unable to express his sensitivities and weaknesses will most certainly be a tormented one. If not a full blown monster.
I don't think I need to back this up with anything.
The evidence is currently apparent.
God did not create man to be a protector and provider in expense of his sensitive nature. He created these aspects of him to be congruent.
This system has been thwarted by our personal warped perceptions.
How can we reestablish this harmony?
I personally believe the woman can spark the trend.
If women make it more acceptable and even attractive for a man to express his vulnerable side, I believe this idea can be accomplished or at least jumpstarted. Not saying that women become rehabilitation clinics for men who need the kind of help that exceeds their expertise,
but better yet becoming purveyors of safe spaces mimicking the garden of Eden where men can release without repercussions.
A lot of women at the drop of a hat will applaud a man wearing a tuxedo dress but make fun of a crying man with a bleeding heart.
A lot of women will even go as far as embrace toxic abusive masculinity and deem anything other than that unworthy of their attention.
When women herald the perverted and negative representations of man, a strong gravitation toward the perverted and negative ensues. Simultaneously overshadowing the divine and positive representations of man.
In this instance, women have a uniquely dynamic ascendancy.
Don't kill the messenger.
Furthermore, the idea of therapy needs to be promoted as well. Men are actually the least likely to seek counseling which is why a lot are like ticking time bombs projecting unexpressed feelings onto others and allowing these poisonous feelings to be the narrator of their lives. #Negative
Point of the matter is, men have hearts that beat and bleed. They feel the pressure to perform everyday. They carry burdens that's dumped on them by societal standards and aren't given the ability to exhaust. This is unhealthy and unfair.
I pray that this changes swiftly.
The kingdom of God is in need of its kings to be released from the shackles of false manhood and free to walk into their true identity as God's masterpieces.
Masterpieces that can then come together to form powerful, solid, impenetrable brotherhoods.
To all my kings, consider this permission to break out, now! Get free! Be free!
Never mind what anybody has to say!
Your sensitive side is just as beautiful as your strong side.
I love the man. The masculine version of God. The one God summoned the dusts of the earth to come together to create him in the beginning and invested His breath into, before He created woman.
The one He gave complete dominion and authority to and trusted to manage this great luscious expanse called Eden.
The one installed with God's divine confidence to survey all of the living creatures unlike him roaming the earth, to give names to.
The one God gave his first commandment to.
I've always admired the makeup of men. I believe this admiration was first birthed after my family and I were abruptly displaced and forced to move to one of the most notorious neighborhoods in Chicago; Englewood, during my last year in elementary school.
I was so unable to relate to and make friends with the girls in that area we lived, so I would immediately go inside after school and stay in my room.
My auntie told my mom that something was wrong with me and that she should probably send me off to an insane asylum.
For fear of being committed, I made myself go outside.
And I would make myself comfortable on top of this tall white wall made of stucco, that allowed me to sit high and look low. Ha!
I guess it was inevitable that this little hood Rapunzel would attract the boys. They all would try to get me to come off the wall. I would reject all of their advances. So, they wound up joining me on the wall. They became my friends to the chagrin of my auntie. From the outside in, I appeared fast. But for me, hanging with them was survival. I felt safe around them.
Plus, I would no longer have to worry about being sent to live in a "crazy folks" home.
Anyway, being around these guys, I was able to observe their behaviors. I watched how they interacted with each other and listened to their conversations. Though some of their dialogues were vulgar and vapid, I still relished the atmosphere.
Their engagements with each other fascinated me.
My family and I would eventually move a few blocks away and I would gain another group of male acquaintances. I would study them as well. Yet by this time, I didn't have to force myself to hang outside as much because I wasn't under the surveillance of my auntie anymore. The threat of being committed wasn't hanging over my head either.
So I dwelled with the fellas every so often.
Needless to say, I made friends with a lot men on up into my adult years. Over the course of all of the years of observing and studying them, I've found an issue amongst them that's like a cancer.
Their scarcity of vulnerability.
Or better yet, their limited access to express emotions.
Especially emotions other than anger and aggression.
Which makes me wonder, who wrote the narrative that a man isn't supposed to feel?
Where did it come from?
We are living in a day and age where if a man doesn't cry or doesn't show emotions, he's considered strong and if he does, he's considered weak.
Why is a man's strength determined by his lack of sensitivity?
My heart broke one day, I don't know how this subject came to being but my six year old nephew told me, "I don't cry. I never cry. Boys don't cry."
I responded, "Boys do cry. If you need to cry, cry. Nothing is wrong with that."
Emotions are emotions. They are not germs that warrants you to disinfect from. They do however, require proper management. I believe that the most dysfunctional man on the planet is one that has bottled up his emotions to protect the image of the man that society has painted.
This is tragic to me.
Romans 7:24
What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?
Low-key, you would believe he was emotionally unstable.
Yet, he was unashamed in his vulnerability.
Prophet Jeremiah, wrote the entire book of Lamentations. The definition of lamentations is passionate weeping.
He was especially known as the Weeping Prophet.
And at the cross, while he hung and bled, Jesus let out a huge cry before he gave his last breath.
I believe there's a lot that God can do with a man who is willing to be vulnerable and willing to be in tune with his emotions in a healthy way. I believe this because, broken vessels are powerful vessels.
Pride can actually be one of the reasons that holds a man's sensitive side hostage.
But more so, fear.
Peer pressure is a heck of an influence.
With the major populous convinced that men should be arrogant, braggadocious, flashy, manished, no wonder there is no room left for a man's vulnerability nor the true condition of his heart!
And there is a difference between a man who expresses sensitivity verses a man who is feminine.
A man who cries and expresses how he feels shouldn't put him at risk of his entire sexuality being questioned.
A man should be safe and free to express his emotions without this undue pressure.
My heart bleeds for my kings in various places who have to endure walking around with crowns of thorns on their heads in place of the crown Jesus died to be a part of their wardrobe.
If you are are one and you're reading this, I encourage and express urgency to find your release. It's ok to be vulnerable. Your sensitivity is natural. It's ok to express your pain with tears.
Life is hard for man.
It's too hard for you to not every once in a while shed tears.
Your sensitivity is needed, believe it or not.
This is actually one of the prime reasons why I wrote my first novel,
Tears of Kings.
One of the main characters hid his pain behind his masculinity and this cultivated a toxic lifestyle of whoredom and alcohol abuse.
Worse, his unattended pain mutated into anger and depression.
A man who is unable to express his sensitivities and weaknesses will most certainly be a tormented one. If not a full blown monster.
I don't think I need to back this up with anything.
The evidence is currently apparent.
God did not create man to be a protector and provider in expense of his sensitive nature. He created these aspects of him to be congruent.
This system has been thwarted by our personal warped perceptions.
How can we reestablish this harmony?
I personally believe the woman can spark the trend.
If women make it more acceptable and even attractive for a man to express his vulnerable side, I believe this idea can be accomplished or at least jumpstarted. Not saying that women become rehabilitation clinics for men who need the kind of help that exceeds their expertise,
but better yet becoming purveyors of safe spaces mimicking the garden of Eden where men can release without repercussions.
A lot of women at the drop of a hat will applaud a man wearing a tuxedo dress but make fun of a crying man with a bleeding heart.
A lot of women will even go as far as embrace toxic abusive masculinity and deem anything other than that unworthy of their attention.
When women herald the perverted and negative representations of man, a strong gravitation toward the perverted and negative ensues. Simultaneously overshadowing the divine and positive representations of man.
In this instance, women have a uniquely dynamic ascendancy.
Don't kill the messenger.
Furthermore, the idea of therapy needs to be promoted as well. Men are actually the least likely to seek counseling which is why a lot are like ticking time bombs projecting unexpressed feelings onto others and allowing these poisonous feelings to be the narrator of their lives. #Negative
Point of the matter is, men have hearts that beat and bleed. They feel the pressure to perform everyday. They carry burdens that's dumped on them by societal standards and aren't given the ability to exhaust. This is unhealthy and unfair.
I pray that this changes swiftly.
The kingdom of God is in need of its kings to be released from the shackles of false manhood and free to walk into their true identity as God's masterpieces.
Masterpieces that can then come together to form powerful, solid, impenetrable brotherhoods.
To all my kings, consider this permission to break out, now! Get free! Be free!
Never mind what anybody has to say!
Your sensitive side is just as beautiful as your strong side.
Amen and amen. I currently teach my son that it is okay for him to feel and cry. I do not want him to bottle up his feelings and it manifest in the worst way. I also teach him not to allow his feelings direct his response to something either. I teach him and his sisters to take a moment before reacting to anyone or a situation so that they are more likely to make a sound decision rather than an impulsive one because of a temporary situation.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this entry . relevant and on time! I hope this changes for our brothers, even our bros in christ where they will know God created them uniquely and that includes their feelings too. Also hoping women wise up to accepting men who want to be vulnerable with them.
ReplyDelete