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Growing Pains


James 1:2-4 
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

So for almost a month I'd been experiencing back pains on and off.  Not quite sure what I did to initiate this pain but I would still force myself to go to the gym and workout around it when it wasn't hurting me as much. Probably not the best idea because Sunday night I literally could not sleep since my back was hurting so bad. If I turned my body a certain way while lying down, the pain would erupt like a burst of fire. I didn't even think I'd be able to get out of bed this Monday morning for work, that's how bad the pain was. My efforts to sit at my work desk without triggering the pain became a tiresome task so I gave up and just endured until the end. Ha!
As a result I had to ask my mom to press all her weight down on the pain despite how it felt and I asked her to rub muscle relaxing cream on it afterwards. 
Today, I must say my back feels so much better! It's still kind of sore but it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it's been. 

Something slapped me upside my head though and shook my soul awake as I lay in bed early Tuesday morning. I thumbed through this year so far going over what I've experienced and I stopped once I came to what I'm experiencing right now. 

There's this increased level of discomfort and irritation with just about everything first of all. Then an inexplicable amount of painful pressure, fear of the future, and random bouts of apathy that drives me to God to ask, "What is this?" I feel so raw and naked. It's terrible. 

Yet, I can recall a few times I've actually felt this way. One time was when I was hit by a car a few years ago and walking was not advised for a while. I was forced to stay in bed feeling like the actor, James Caan in the movie, "Misery." I wasn't miserable per say. I just couldn't rock with being immobile. There was this time when I'd had a meltdown at work and needed to go on FMLA for a few months. Another time when I'd lost my job and had to accept that I needed to move back home with my parents. All three of these accounts triggered a similar experience in my spirit of which I realize sparked some major growth in me. 

Growing Pains.

I don't care how old you are you, what your sex is, what you do for a living, how popular you are, you should welcome growth. When something is growing it's a good sign and a surefire promise of longevity. God loves things to grow including you and I. I'm afraid of people who don't grow or refuse to grow. When we stop growing that's when we should be alarmed and smoke out the culprit.
Anyway, growing pains for a believer are a combination of a few components I've listed below. Please read carefully, I don't want to lose you, beloved. 

1. You will experience growing pains when God begins to press His weight on you to get out the bad stuff. Some bad things may be an unhealthy view of yourself, apathy, fear, procrastination, feelings of inadequacy, impatience, low self-esteem, self loathing. Notice that a lot of these things have to do with self. It's because it's very hard to just rip these things away because their so tangled into our personalities which warrants the painful pressure from God's heaviness sitting on you to force them out. This will most surely require you to stay in a prostrated posture. 

2. You will experience growing pains when God begins to pour into you. Not everything God pours into you will taste good. In the book of Revelations Apostle John spoke of being given a scroll to eat that was sweet as honey to his tongue but turned sour in his stomach. Though what He pours into you will be like drinking cups of water soaking bitter melons, it will be very beneficial. Don't be like a rebellious weetot swatting away spoonfuls of medicine! The pouring is necessary for growth. 

3. You will experience growing pains when God begins to break you. Your feelings will be hurt a lot. Your heart will have to be broken a few times over. You're going to be rejected. You're going to feel like the odd awkward duck. You will be mocked. You will be ridiculed. You will be chastised by God and men. You will feel exposed and vulnerable. It will get really dark for short periods of time. This is how compassion and humility will be developed in you for those you will be introduced to with backgrounds that you won't personally be able to relate to. 

4. You will experience growing pains when God is stretching you. He will prepare your vessel to be able to handle more by expanding your capacity in small random settings more than likely that are unfamiliar to you. #Sidebar just because He's expanding you doesn't mean you're up for grabs or ready to operate because you are not. Don't make the mistake of following the commissions of bootlegged Mordecai's and Naomi's disguised as mentors or whatever they want to call themselves. Expansion is attractive to people with their own self-made motives. They're not interested and could care less about the maintenance of your expansion.  People will come from everywhere seeking to build popped towers of Babel  off of your expansion before your expansion is even complete! Now you know better. Be advised. 

5. You will experience growing pains when God has you exercising your expansion. THIS is when you're required to walk out your stretch. THIS is when you should position yourself to be sought out. THIS is when you can effectively operate without malfunctioning, imploding, or self sabotaging. Though each area will require various levels of fasting and prayer, THIS is when you have to maintain the most discipline in your appetite and prayer-life. You still can't eat everywhere. You still can't go everywhere. You still can't connect with just any and everybody. Don't use your free will to do what you want! Fasting and prayer will keep you tethered to the memories of your growing pains and the One who endorsed them. 

Romans 3-5
Not only that, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.…

Now, this list isn't in any specific order. I just gave them to you how God gave them to me based on what's going on with me real time. I have no idea how long these growing pains will last. I will admit, I don't like any of it!  As much as I want to tell God I'm done. No more, that's it! Holy Spirit our comforter comes in and soothes me like a baby with Colic. I've been forced to give up all of my prerogatives and human expectations of how my little life is supposed to look through these growing pains. I pray this resonates with you in some way. I pray this reassures you that you are not alone and makes some sense of what you're dealing with. I pray that you realize your value and know that you're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Don't believe the lies of the enemy, your past, or hecklers in your audience. Forget all of that! Let's get through these growing pains together!


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